The Inspiration Nation

This time last year, I read Frederick Douglass' famous speech, "The Meaning of July Fourth for the Negro."  It's a recurrent theme in American politics, this idea of freedom for her citizens.

When we talk about notions of freedom and citizenry, inevitably other profound issues also come up, like nationhood, politics, privilege, and now more than ever, what it means to be patriotic in its many forms.

Whatever your views on these, and however they play out in your life and your conversations today (and any day), I wanted to share with you (perhaps you've already heard it) Marvin Gaye's live rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, the national anthem of the United States of America.

It's the most beautiful rendition I've ever heard.

At a networking meeting yesterday morning, I made a confession.

It wasn't particularly easy to say, but what I think stops people in their tracks and keeps people "stuck" is the feeling that they are all alone, that they are the only one experiencing the thing, and that no one would understand.

My challenge in the past has been not wanting to be perceived as a complainer.  Who wants to hear my troubles anyway?

So, I find myself yet again plugging away -- struggling, really -- on my own.  Not exactly what I'd call fun.

Have you ever felt that way?

With the population of the world numbering into the billions, there's a good chance that whatever it is we may be struggling with, someone else is struggling with the same thing.

So I threw caution (and trepidation) to the wind and decided a couple of days ago that I would make my confession on Monday.

What was my big confession?

That I felt like a complete LOSER (with a capital L) all week last week.

I felt like I was behind the 8 ball at every turn, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and really not quite understanding what was going on.  I also was physically dragging all week, generally feeling very tired and lethargic.  One day last week, I took two naps!

I also found myself not getting anything done that I had planned to do to further my business, so I felt not a little bit depressed and disappointed with myself.

On Friday, I had a chat with my accountability partner, during and after which I felt like even more of a loser.  He only spoke truth, confirming that I had accomplished very little of what I committed to accomplishing that week.

He was neither harsh nor lacking in compassion, but he didn't pull any punches either.

I don't know about you, but getting punched doesn't feel very good.

So, feeling crushed and wanting to crawl under a rock and die, I opened a book and read the line in C.J. Hayden's Get Clients Now! book that gave me a different, better perspective:

"There is no failure, only feedback."

So, relieved, I exhaled.

And then I picked myself up, recommitted, and stepped back on my path.

Before last night, I'd never heard of Ric Weiland.  The same of course cannot be said of Paul Allen and Bill Gates.  Yet, Ric Weiland was highly instrumental in the launching of software giant, Microsoft.

Unfortunately, Weiland died by his own hand in 2006 (gunshot to the head), ultimately succumbing to the clinical depression with which he was plagued.  He was 53 years old.

A quiet philanthropist, he remains so in his death, having bequeathed $160 million to charity, $65 million of which will go to Seattle-based Pride Foundation.

The story released just yesterday is an inspiring one, which you can read by clicking HERE.  Access the full media release, including Ric's bio, images of Ric, yesterday's press release and complete details of his generous gift by clicking HERE.

What a wonderful example of giving Weiland exemplified during his life, which will be memorialized after his death for many years to come via this enormous gift that amounted to the majority of his estate.

Ric Weiland is survived by his partner, Mike Schaefer of Seattle, and many nieces and nephews. 

I pause (and hope you will, too) for a silent moment to honor this great man who on some level did not know and honor his own tremendous greatness.

---
image of Ric Weiland, released by the Pride Foundation of Seattle

Sometimes I wonder why people bother to get into relationships at all.

After getting over the shock of reading Donald Trump's posts about how all of us are liars and how men tend to
Image by Thomas Hawk, under a Creative Commons license suffer from depression if their wives make more money than they do, I very nearly vomited all over the computer screen.

Trump cites a study that revealed that during the course of a week, college students lied at least once to almost 40% of the people they interacted with.  In the rest of the population, it was about 33%.

The lies run the gamut in seriousness, but Trump appears to consider them justifiable if the fibbing is meant to protect others or ourselves. 

As for husbands, they actually experience physical symptoms and even clinical depression if their wives make more money than them, especially if the smug brides rub it in!

Pretty ridiculous, if you ask me.

Chad and I have been together for a few days shy of 5 1/2 years.  Unfortunately, I can't say that we haven't had our share of heated discussions over money (to say otherwise would be lying, Mr. Trump), but thankfully, it has never been about which of us earned the most.

And, hopefully we haven't deliberately succumbed to the apparently very human temptation to lie to each other.

In any case, Chad and I are attending an intensive 5-day couples retreat, facilitated by Dov and Renuka Baron, called Quantum Soulmates for Couples (QSC) and we're very excited.  We've been anticipating this event for months now.

Considering the silliness people in relationships get themselves mixed up in, I'm thinking QSC should be required coursework for all couples in (or contemplating) a relationship. 

Yoga Instructor James Dewar and me; Beaver Lake Lodge; Sammamish, WA; 2/17/2008My first yoga experience (I vaguely remember doing something akin to yoga years ago, but clearly it doesn't hold a significant place in my mind) was awesome.  So relaxing (Though definitely challenging.  The stretches and poses were by no means easy.) and affirming.

I stumbled upon an advertisement for the Amrit Yoga Retreat, and though it was several miles away from where I live, I was drawn to it and to the facilitator, James Dewar.  He was assisted by Brandy Ritts, who was the one who actually led us through the Amrit Yoga (the breathing, stretching, and posing).

The second portion of the program was led by James.  It was called Yoga Nidra, sometimes referred to as psychic sleep or yoga sleep.

Though I did actually go in and out of sleep (oops!), the intent is deep, deep relaxation of mind and body while remaining alert.

The Yoga Nidra very much reminded me of the meditations I've experienced that Dr. Dov Baron leads at his personal development programs.  I really found the two practices, the Amrit Yoga and the Yoga Nidra, very complementary to the work I've been doing with Dov in his programs over the past year.
My new yoga friends and me; Beaver Lake Lodge

I like the deliberate intention-making aspect of the yoga practices, and the focus on the breath and the body.  It is so great its emphasis on remaining present in the moment, by regularly coming back to the breath and how you're feeling in the body.

Isn't that what life is about?  Balance, being in the body, breath, and presence of mind? 

Yoga reminds me of what it's like being a life coach.  Being present, conscious of mind and body, and deliberately creating life experience with clear intention is what we model and teach our clients.

I remember James instructing us just before 'ohm-ing' (that was pretty fun, too!) to make a specific intention for what we personally wanted to get out of the yogic experience.  He clarified that what he meant not an end, as in what we wanted to gain as a result of the yoga at the end of the day.  No, the intention was to be all about the experience.  What we wanted to experience in the moment as we were executing the yoga practices.

I really had a good time.  What a gift!

I know Bellingham has different types of yoga going on every week.  I'm hoping they have a practitioner of Amrit Yoga and Amrit Method Yoga Nidra.

I was reading Donald Trump's article, To Tip or Not to Tip?, and before I give my comments, in the interests of full disclosure, I was in the food-and-beverage industry for much of my working life, several of those years as a server in different restaurants and as banquets/catering staff.

I find it surprising that the question is asked at all, or that some people refused to tip (or tip poorly) because "They get their wage," or as a matter of principle because the service was less than stellar.

I can't imagine a customer refusing to pay for their meal because they didn't like it (except in very rare instances) or deciding they are going to pay less for the meal because it wasn't up to par.  Why then would anyone not pay for service?

I say this, and I am one of the worse critics there is, when it comes to quality service.  Yet, I consistently tip 20% regardless of service, and more than 20% if the service is exceptional.

I also know that many times, clients -- particularly the less-than-observant or those unfamiliar with the service industry -- live in a bubble and are unaware of the other factors beyond a waitperson's control that affect the quality of service.  So they punish the server.

Uncontrollable circumstances can be any number of things, including mistakes in the kitchen, an overworked "slammed" bar, other employees that didn't show up for work, an unexpected large party, a needy customer that sucks up the server's time or finds something wrong with everything, or the server is just having a bad day.

Does your employer withhold your paycheck or decide to reduce your pay because you were having a bad day? 

Mr. Trump was writing in response to a Money Magazine article where the customer wanted to stiff a waitperson because they had bad service.  The magazine said the customer was correct, since tipping is an option and not a requirement.  What is more, the magazine said the customer should leave one dollar to indicate to the server that they had been stiffed.

Well, to the first point, I have to disagree.  Tipping is not an option.  If people have a challenge with tipping, they should order dinner to-go, or else go to a smorgasbord or buffet.

Furthermore, servers are dependent on their tips -- not their wages -- to make their living.  I live in Washington State, which has the highest minimum wage in the country, currently at $8.07 per hour.  Believe me, that wage doesn't go very far and that's the highest wage in the country!  In the rest of the country, the minimum wage is much less.

And, to the second point, I think leaving a dollar (or the spare change in your pocket) is mean-spirited.  It's worse than leaving nothing at all.  Rather than communicate to the server than you were frustrated with your experience, it insults them and makes the customer look cheap and unappreciative.

So "to tip or not to tip" is not the question.  I think the discussion should be around how much to leave as a standard, and then optionally add to the standard if the server is stellar.

Or else, get up and serve your own food!